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Alert: This is one of 3,000 EFT Tapping articles that were written by users like you but before 2010. As such they are outdated and some of the links don't work. Nonetheless, they provide an excellent Peek at the Possibilities and show you the wide reach of even our older methods. See TRAINING for our free and near-free advanced methods.
Note: This article assumes you have a working knowledge of EFT. Newcomers can still learn from it but are advised to peruse our Free Gold Standard (Official) EFT Tutorialâ„¢ for a more complete understanding.
Hi Everyone,
Study this article by Nancy Morris because it weaves in and out of many core issues underlying this painful "bedroom problem." This case was not one of our "one minute wonders" and took both persistence and skill to properly resolve. Notice Nancy's frequent use of specific events. Many quality insights here. Please consult physicians on medical issues.
Hugs, Gary
By Nancy Morris, EFT-Cert1
The reason I'm writing up this case is to show, through its example, how multi-faceted sexual issues often are. Fortunately, working through all the important events, memories and aspects that come up for a client can produce miraculous results. Many times clients will get some good results from one or two EFT sessions, but they give up before getting what they really want.
When Jane first called me to make an appointment her stated goal was "to have a healthy and balanced sex life." I am only showing the main points covered in each session without specific tapping phrases. The important thing to notice is the variety of issues covered, how infrequently the actual symptoms of her condition were addressed (because she'd done this herself without results), and the full commitment Jane made to getting the sex life she wanted.
Appointment #1 - In asking Jane about her history and situation, I learned that she had a chronic condition (vulvodynia/vulvar vestibulitis) for the past 14 years which made sex, especially intercourse, painful. She had been to doctors and tried "everything" to cure this. Jane felt shame and embarrassment; she also felt defective (her word). I investigated what was going on in her life when this condition started and what medical treatments she'd tried. We did a lot of tapping on specifics she brought up and I recommended homework using this statement:
Even though I feel guarded against sex... I told Jane to make note of any specific memories that might come up when she would do her EFT homework and bring them to the next session.
Appointment #2 - Jane revealed specific events where she had been cheated on and lied to by men. We used EFT to deal with each of the specific events that came up until we cleared them. Again Jane said she felt shame and defectiveness because of her condition. She said she had a sense of this "ring of fire" at the opening to her vagina and felt as if she were "guarding the gate". This made a lot of sense and we continued to clear events that would cause her to have guarded herself. NOTE: Sometimes it is just one specific event, but in Jane's case this was not true. Homework:
Even though I'm guarding the gate, I have my reasons and I love and accept myself.
Appointment #3 - Her first experience of sexual intercourse was terrible, embarrassing and painful. We cleared all of her bad feelings regarding this specific event using the Tell the Story technique. Another embarrassing and shameful event occurred when she was 3 years old and we worked through this specific event regarding sexuality. Jane really liked her homework from last time so she elected to do this again: Even though I'm guarding the gate, I have my reasons and I love and accept myself.
Appointment #4 - We cleared another specific event from her childhood that made her feel ashamed of herself. Jane also reported that in doing her EFT homework, she'd noticed that she not only felt guarded around her sexuality but also around her heart and other body parts. We did EFT on her body sensations "chasing the pain" and working on emotions associated with physical sensations. Jane also said she felt unworthy. She said her parents had divorced when she was a teen and there were memories of each of them abandoning her in their own way. We dealt with specific events around feeling unworthy in this session. Homework: Even though I feel unworthy sometimes... Even though I feel unworthy sometimes, I know I have a good heart. Even though I feel unworthy sometimes, I feel I have good intentions.
Appointment #5 - Jane reported feeling hopeful and felt that she had a bigger context for her life/problems. She also said her vaginal pain seemed to be lessened. During this session Jane said she had a feeling of being overwhelmed by body sensations when penetrated. This lead us to abortions she had and a specific one that had been very traumatic which we worked through in detail using the Movie Technique. Homework: Even though I feel overwhelmed by sensation...
Appointment #6 - Jane reported that she was realizing that she had a belief, a story, about everything and she was beginning to ask herself if these stories were really true? A very strong specific memory came up regarding an incident with her sister when she was young and Jane felt that she was to blame for her sister getting badly hurt. Using the Tell the Story technique we worked through the event in great detail until the intensity was low.
Jane was not, however, able to forgive herself. Her sister had already forgiven her. Acting on instinct I had Jane hold a stuffed animal and notice how cute and innocent its face looked. Then I asked her to imagine she was holding her young self and had her talk to herself while tapping and saying: We were just kids playing; we were both having fun; it was exciting; we were having a good time; I was just playing with Mary (her sister); we were running; it wasn't my fault; I love and forgive myself; she ran so fast; I love and forgive myself; she broke the glass; I love and forgive myself; we were just two kids playing; kids get hurt; I love and forgive myself. After this Jane felt comfortable that she'd forgiven herself.
Appointment #7 - Jane reported having had intercourse and "it hardly hurt at all". Then, a specific incident regarding betrayal came up. Worked on this event and went back to an event from when she was a teen that was similar and cleared that. Homework: Even though I pull away because I'm afraid... Even though I pull away sometimes, I choose to love and nurture myself.
Appointment #8 - Jane said she was feeling good and her vulvar vestibulitis was getting much better. We worked on many specific situations where Jane felt that she had not "come first" to important people in her life. We talked about where she does not put herself first and her feelings about that. Jane's face lit up when she realized that she can always be a priority with herself; she doesn't have to bend to others' wants. Homework: Even though I didn't always come first with my parents, I love and accept myself and them.
NOTE: We'd worked through many specific events regarding each of her parents already. Even though I don't always come first with Joe (boyfriend)... NOTE: We'd worked through many specific events regarding Joe already.
Even though I haven't always listened to my own needs, I choose to listen to them from now on.
Appointment #9 - Jane stated that her vaginal pain was gone! And then she started crying and talking about how afraid she'd been to "hope" that it might be "cured" (very hard for her to say this word). Jane said there was still a sense that the skin was feeling a little raw at the opening to her vagina. We tapped on all of this. This brought up her belief that it was dangerous to get too happy. Her parents and grandparents had taught her this. More tapping to clear this belief. Jane left feeling excited and hopeful.
Appointment #10 - Jane said that she'd spent the entire previous night making love and having intercourse several times and it had been "fabulous". No pain at all. She was so happy she cried again. Jane declared herself "cured" and we tapped it in along with some gratitude. Then we worked on an unrelated issue regarding her work.
Here are the lessons I see from this case: Not every issue can be resolved in one or two sessions; stick with EFT trusting you'll get results. Get help if you need it. Keep looking for related specific incidents from the past. Do EFT homework between sessions.
Fourteen years of pain and painful sex, and Jane's condition was cured in 9 EFT sessions. Not every EFT case is a one-session wonder; sometimes miracles take a little longer.
Happily, Nancy Morris, EFT-Cert1
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